I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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