Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
