Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
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