it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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