i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
