I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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