just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
