Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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