We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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