I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
only you would photoshop your dick
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
