That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
