He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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