the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
