I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
