He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I lost the right to judge tonight
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
