there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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