I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Less talking, more tequila
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
