Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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