man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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