KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
