How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
