all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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