I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
