Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
