no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
