So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize