4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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