We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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