i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
