I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize
