Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
