he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
