fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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