I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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