I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
My pussy is not your playground.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
