Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
