Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
