Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
