Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
