i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
