Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
