The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
