I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
