Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
