Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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