Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
