So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
