Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
