I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
