don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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