I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
