Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
