so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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